Debunking the Bukhari hadith myth

By True Muslim

Part Two  (This part is on examples of problematic Hadises; see Part 1 bellow for other discussion– Hasan Mahmud)

This is part two of my two-part article on debunking the hadith myth. Here is a long list of some really stupid and false hadith from Imam Bukhari. It should make entertaining reading. The reader must bear in mind that this stupidity is what the ulema glorify as “Sahih of Imam al-Bukhari is rightfully privileged to be called a gigantic ocean serenely flowing for the providence and safeguard of those precious pieces of magnificence.”

Well, now let’s look at some of those precious pieces of magnificence:

Bukhari Volume 1, Book 9, Number 490: Narrated 'Aisha: The things which annul the prayers were mentioned before me. They said, "Prayer is annulled by a dog, a donkey and a woman." I said, "You have made us (i.e. women) dogs. I saw the Prophet praying while I used to lie in my bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I would slip away, for I disliked to face him."

According to this precious piece of magnificence from Bukhari, women are like dogs and donkeys. And exactly which verse in the Quran is explained by this precious pearl?

Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 537: Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said "If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip the fly (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."

Another precious piece of magnificence from Bukhari. This is what they are practicing at the Pusat Rawatan Islam or PUSRAWI all over Malaysia. If you have cholera or dysentery they will feed you ‘house fly’ soup to make you better. Again, which verse in the Quran is explained by this fake hadith?

Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 5: Narrated 'Ata: We presented ourselves along with Ibn 'Abbas at the funeral procession of Maimuna at a place called Sarif. Ibn 'Abbas said, "This is the wife of the Prophet so when you lift her bier, do not Jerk it or shake it much, but walk smoothly because the Prophet had nine wives and he used to observe the night turns with eight of them, and for one of them there was no night turn."

This is a mystery. Which verse in the Quran is explained by this precious piece of magnificence?

Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 6: Narrated Anas: The Prophet used to go round (have sexual relations with) all his wives in one night, and he had nine wives.

But the other hadith just said someone missed a turn. Ditto the question.

Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 7: Narrated Said bin Jubair: Ibn 'Abbas asked me, "Are you married?" I replied, "No." He said, "Marry, for the best person of this (Muslim) nation (i.e., the Prophet) of all other Muslims, had the largest number of wives."

The Prophet had the largest number of wives? The more wives one has the better Muslim one becomes. Hmm....which verse in the Quran does this horny hadith explain?

Mahmood bin Rabe narrates, “I still remember when I was five years old, the Holy Prophet rinsed his mouth and then spat the water into mine” (Bukhari Kitabul Ilm vol.2, hadith 77).

More precious pieces of magnificence for the medical fraternity. This is to make you sick and throw up. After this you can go for the ‘fly in the soup’ treatment at the Pusat Rawatan Islam. Which verse in the Quran is explained by this Hadith?

The Holy Messenger used to have intercourse with all of his wives in one hour of the day and night (without taking a bath) and these (wives) were eleven.

More horny hadith. Which Quran verse is explained by this hadith? Isn’t this how venereal disease is spread - when you don’t wash despite intercourse with eleven different women? The other hadith said the Prophet had nine wives. Here it has gone up to eleven wives.

The Holy Prophet had the (sexual) power of 30 men (Bukhari, Book of Bath 1:189).

Which verse in the Quran is explained by this horny hadith?

The Prophet said that the best man amongst his followers is the one who has the greatest number of wives (Bukhari, Book of Nikah 3:52).

Sexual predators and perverts unite!

The Holy Prophet asked, “Who will buy this slave from me?” Hazrat Naeem bought him for 800 Darham (Bukhari, Kitabul Ikrah p.669).

The hadith Bukhari has made the Prophet a slave trader! The Prophet bought and sold slaves? But throughout the Quran, the Prophet taught us ‘free the slaves, free the slaves, free the slaves’. But Bukhari says ‘sell the slaves for 800 dirhams’. This is a precious piece of magnificence? Which verse in the Quran is explained by this hadith?

The sun rises between the two antlers of Satan (Bukhari 2:134).

And we thought the sun rose in the East over the Land of the Rising Sun! But Bukhari has the East covered too, it is in the next hadith:

Fitna (tribulation) rises in the East (Bukhari, Book of Talaq 3:132).

Which verses in the Quran are explained by these stupid hadith?

After the fall of Khyber, people described the beauty of Safia Bint Hui, the new bride of a slain enemy soldier. The Prophet chose her for himself. On the way to Madina he stopped and had intercourse with her. His companions did not know if she was a wife or a concubine. Later, a veil was drawn between her and the men-folk and they came to know that she was a wife (Bukhari, Book of Sales and Book of Nikah 3:59).

From slave trading to sleeping with 9 or 11 women in one night without washing, to ravishing a prisoner of war! Indeed Bukhari makes the Prophet of Islam to be a real sexual predator and pervert! The Prophet had nothing else on his mind except ravishing women, including the new bride of a slain enemy soldier. What cruelty? Which verse in the Quran is explained by this sick hadith?

The Prophet said, “Bad luck, misfortune and doom can exist in a wife, a home and a horse” (Bukhari, Book of Nikah 3:60).

Just now women were like dogs and donkeys. Now they are like bad luck and horses. Which verse in the Quran is explained by this hadith?

“After my time, the greatest tribulation for men will be women” (Bukhari, Book of Nikah 3:61).

Of course, because no one has the sexual powers of 30 men, that is why polygamy is destroying Malay and Muslim society. The men cannot keep up with multiple wives.

I saw that most of those entering the gate of hellfire were women (Bukhari, Book of Nikah 3:97).

Again a slanderous statement against women. Damn those women. First they were like dogs and donkeys. Then they were like horses. Now the women will enter the hellfire in large numbers. Dear reader, of course Bukhari is referring to your mother, your sister, your aunty, your daughter and your grandmother too. (You ingat apa – Bukhari is referring to your neighbour’s mother ke?) According to Bukhari, the majority of your mothers and your daughters will go to hell. Which verse in the Quran is explained by this hadith?

Aisha said to the Prophet ,“Ah! My head is bursting.” He said, “I wish it did.” Aisha responded: “You want me to die so that you can spend the next night with another wife” (Bukhari, Book of Medicine, vol.3).

Maybe Aishah was the woman who did not get her turn that particular night?

A man inquired, “We earn income from these bondwomen, (other narratives mention prostitution) so can we do coitus interrupts with them?” The Prophet said, “There is no sin in doing that” (Bukhari Kitabul Qadr 3:543).

What do you expect? With the sexual power of 30 men, intercourse with 11 women in one night and after ravishing a prisoner of war what else is left for the Prophet to do? Bukhari says the Prophet said it was okay for his buddies to become pimps and ravish the women too.

Some people got sick in Madina. The Prophet advised them to drink camel's urine and milk. After they became well, they killed a shepherd. The Prophet ordered that their hands and feet be chopped off and their eyes gouged out. They were laid on burning sand. When they asked for water it was denied them. So much so that they tasted sand until they died (Bukhari Kitabul Mahrabain and Kitabut Tib p.254).

More organic medical prescriptions. Obviously the ‘fly soup’ was not strong enough for these hardy folks. The Prophet prescribed camel’s urine and milk. The Malaysian Association of Pusat Rawatan Islam has applied for a patent over this prescription. They are substituting horse’s urine for the camel. The milk shall be supplied by the Punjabi Milk Vendors Association. Horse’s urine supplied by DBKL from the ‘kuda padi’ stables at Taman Tasik Titiwangsa. By the way, which verse is explained by this urine hadith?

Seeing a black woman in a dream is the sign of an oncoming epidemic (Bukhari Kitabul Ta'abir).

This is Arab prejudice and racism against black women. Which verse is explained by this hadith?

The Prophet’s wives awoke late one morning. He said, “Many women who are dressed up in this world will be raised unclothed in the Hereafter” (Bukhari Kitabul Fatan 3:718).

Another mystery. Another erotic hadith. Why in heaven’s name would the women be unclothed in the Hereafter? Which verse is explained by this hadith?

The Prophet used to become very restless and frightened whenever he saw the sky overcast (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:213).

Bukhari says the Prophet was childish and superstitious. Which verse does this hadith explain?

The hellfire complained to Allah, "One part of me is eating the other part." So, the hellfire was allowed two breaths - one in summer and one in winter. That is how you see the change of seasons (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:231).

No. I disagree. The seasons change because the earth is tilted 23 degrees off its axis of rotation. I know because I watched ‘Bill Nye the Science Guy’. But which verse is explained by this hadith?

Azan, (the call to prayer), puts Satan to flight, expelling gas as he runs away (Bukhari Beginning of Creation 2:237).

Well what can we learn from this hadith of the farts? Satan should not eat so much Jalapeno beans before vigorous exercise. Any Mexican could have told him that. Which verse is explained by this fart hadith?

Satan rests at night in your noses (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:241).

And that is why you should not pick your nose at night while in bed. You may pluck out Satan along with the goobers.

A rooster sees angels, and a donkey sees Satan (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:213).

Donkeys are donkeys and roosters are roosters.

Rats are the lost tribe of Israel because they drink not the camel's milk, but drink goat’s milk (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:244).

A precious piece of magnificence indeed. The Jews have always had expensive tastes, even when they were rats. Goat’s milk is so expensive. Which verse in the Quran is explained by this foolish hadith?

The Prophet ordered the killing of dogs (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:247).

What would you expect – after sex with 11 wives, slave trading, ravishing prisoners of war, pimping prostitutes, telling your mom she will burn in hell, feeding people camel’s urine and gouging out their eyes – its now time to start killing dogs.

Five animals are sinful, so kill them even in Makkah: rat, scorpion, eagle, crow, and a biting dog (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:245).

What a party animal the Prophet was? Kill the eagles and crows too. Hence was born the Syariah Compliant Listed Company ‘Al Rid-pest’. Which verse in the Quran is explained by these hadith?

Woman was created from the rib so she will always remain crooked. Leave her crooked (Bukhari, Beginning of Creation 2:251).

The damned women again. They are so crooked. Your mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, aunty they are all crooked. I think Arab women are really crooked. Which verse is explained by this fake hadith?

Maimoona said that she gazed at the Prophet taking a bath after intercourse, until she saw him wash his private parts (Bukhari, The Book of Bath 1:193).

Unfortunately Maimoona did not have a handphone camera. Otherwise we could have had an illustrated ‘Sahih Bukhari’. This also means that before the Prophet’s time the men never washed their private parts. Bukhari said earlier the Prophet never washed even after sex with eleven wives, one after the other. Maybe ‘alcohol free’ cologne was available?

If the Prophet wanted to have intercourse with a menstruating wife, he ordered her to tie a loincloth even though the menstruation would be at its peak. Then he had intercourse. Whoever has concocted this hadith adds a contrary statement: Aisha said, "No one of you has as much control over his desire as the Prophet had!" (Bukhari The Book on Menstruation 1:98, chapter 207).

Which verse is explained by this stupid hadith?

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet said, "I was praying. Satan came in front of me and tried to force me to break my prayers. Allah gave me control over him and I threw him down. I thought of tying him with a pillar so that you could see him in the morning (Bukhari 1:469, chapter 766).

The Quran says ‘The satan and his tribe can see you from places while you cannot see them’ Surah 7:27. This hadith is so fake.

The Messenger of Allah addressed his wife Safia as “O’ you bald-headed perished one!” (Bukhari, Kitab Talaq p.143).

According to Bukhari this was the sunnah or practice of the Prophet. So if the wife is fat, just call her ‘hey fatty’. If she has a large rear, you can call her ‘butt monster’. Orang Melayu boleh panggil ‘woi bontot’. But which verse does this stupid hadith explain?

Amr bin Maimoon reported, “I saw a monkey surrounded by a swarm of other monkeys. He had committed adultery with a female monkey. So, all monkeys stoned him to death. I cast stones, too.” A variation of this hadith reports, “The female monkey had been lying down with a middle-aged male when a young male came and gestured with his eye. The female slowly pulled her hand away from under the head of the middle-aged monkey and tiptoed away from him. Then she committed adultery with the young monkey. The older monkey got wind of what had happened so he yelled and gathered around him all monkeys in the vicinity. They stoned both (the adulterers) to death!” (Bukhari 2:261).

Dear readers, this is where the Hukum Hudud of the PAS comes from – it is taken from the Monkeys. This is monkey jurisprudence of the Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jamaah. Here is another Monkey Hadith:

Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188. Narrated Amr bin Maimoon: ‘During the pre-Islamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too stoned it along with them.

After imbibing this most useful lesson from the monkeys, all the ulema became stoned, until today.

When a woman refuses to come to her husband’s bed, angels curse her until she returns (Bukhari, Book of Nikah p.96).

Obviously the husband did not know how to call his wife to bed. The husband should have tried ‘You kepala botak perished one, come here!’ That was the sunnah of the Prophet – according to Bukhari. Which verse in the Quran is explained by this hadith?

Hadith number 185 narrates that once the Holy Prophet asked for a bowl of water. He washed his hands and face in it. Then he rinsed his mouth in it and after that ordered Abu Musa and Bilal to drink the used water!

This is the earliest known record of recycling waste water. It was called ‘New Water’. And the Singaporeans thought they were so pandai recycling and consuming their sewage water. Huh! Pi dah! The Prophet already discovered this trick 1400 years ago.

The Book of Bath number 246: Abu Salma and the brother of Aisha went to Aisha to learn about the bath after sexual intercourse. She procured a container of water and took a bath. There was a veil between them and her.

In the 60s our schools taught school girls a subject called ‘Home Science’. You have to teach the younger generation how to wash their private parts after sex. According to Bukhari you teach them by washing your private parts in front of them – from behind a thin lace curtain of course – preferably with a light source illuminating you from behind! Which verse does this stupid hadith explain?

So this is what is written in the fake hadith of Bukhari. It is this stupidity that is supposed to explain the magnificent Quran. But what has it really achieved. Let’s look around us today. Look at the followers of Imam Bukhari. There are over 1.0 billion of them. They are known as the Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jamaah. Today they are mired in poverty, stupidity, polytheism, violence and condemnation from God. Their plight on this earth is pitiful and their plight in the Hereafter will be even worse. They are not Muslims.

To close this chapter, here are some more pearls of magnificence from Imam Bukhari about our mothers, sisters, daughters and grandmothers:

The Holy Prophet passed a group of women. He said to them, “Ladies, give alms, because I have seen you burning in hell in great numbers.” When the women asked the reason for it, he said:

v “You women curse too much!”

v “You are ungrateful to your husbands.”

v “In spite of being deficient in intellect as well as in religion, you are capable of prevailing over a man of wisdom; you are a creation the like of which has never been seen.”

v “Is not the testimony of a woman one half that of a man? This is the measure of deficiency of your intellect!”

v “And mind you, when a woman has her periods she is not allowed to pray or to fast. This is the measure of your deficiency in religion.”

And with this curse on all the women from Bukhari I close this chapter.

Thanks to roslan s for sending the article.

Further Reading:
Hadith plagiarized from the Bible

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